So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
