As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
