i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
