some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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