And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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