Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize