she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
