You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
