i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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