apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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