question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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