I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
4 words: hood of his car
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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