i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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