i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
