The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
3 2 1 whiskey
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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