somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize