If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
