So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
