We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just cut my nipple shaving
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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