No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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