I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
