So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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