How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
