I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
