I just threw up on my dentist
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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