My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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