...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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