What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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