Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
