Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
