Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
