I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
