Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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