Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
