I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
