Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
