I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
