I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
