I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
