So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
