Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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