Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
