I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
