We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
the raccoons are back...
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