I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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