dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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