im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Life is so much better after having sex.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
