Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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