the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
