I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
