i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
