That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You work out of a Hotel?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
