I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
