OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry about my life...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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