would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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