i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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