Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize