if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
