i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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