Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
