Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
