What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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