rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
